DNA, the Universe & Everything Else > Creative Genius

Vogon Poetry


OK, so here is some really bad poetry I wrote:

Forecasting tornadoes in Kansas is effortless
whenever sandblasted in the outhouse
avoidance is critical and fundamental
until notice is forcibly made conscious

Experience beats predictive failures
They expunge thoughts better abandoned
and waste my time never precious
carelessly cackling portentous declaration

But first hand elevated surprise
tossed raggedly and shredded
thrust multi-directionally
and made to fertilize

Ok so this is some of my bad poetry

I like to smile and I bet you do too
So this is how I smile ;D

I’m not sure how you smile but
I just like to smile

Just remember that frowning
Takes more muscle power than
Smiling dose :D

Grate Oracle Lewot:
Well, this post is almost as delayed as most airplanes, but I found a couple of Vogon Poems I wrote back on Father Kojv's forum.

Here is the first one:

If I Were a Piece of Thread

If I were a piece of thread
Balancing on a needle
With two magnetic appendages on my ends
And the same poles were facing each other
So I balanced by magnetism
Well, that would be fun.

But I just remembered that
The magnets would attach to the needle
Because it's made of metal
And pull me down with them
So it wouldn't be fun after all.
Oh well.
Scrap that idea.

And here is the far superior second one:



I remember those, or at least I remember the more memorable second one...  :D

Grate Oracle Lewot:
I believe I had another one called Airline Food, but it wasn't very funny. It did too much referencing of things.


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